What are divorce rings and why can’t we stop talking about them?
I’ll admit, when I first heard the term “divorce ring,” I rolled my eyes. Another jewellery trend engineered for Instagram, I thought. But the more I looked into it, the more I realised this wasn’t just about American model and actress Emily Ratajkowski’s viral Instagram moment or celebrity spectacle. Women are actually doing this—deliberately, and with real money. They’re walking into fine jewellery ateliers, selling off their wedding bands, and commissioning pieces that have nothing to do with anyone but themselves.
What struck me most is that this isn’t new. Victorian widows wore mourning jewellery. Suffragettes or female militant activists from the 20th century, chose purple, white and green gemstones as political statements. Jewellery has always marked life’s transitions—grief, independence, reinvention. The difference now? Women aren’t being discreet about it. They’re choosing bold cocktail rings, snake motifs, asymmetrical settings. They’re spending top dollar on pieces that announce: I’m here, I’m fine and I chose this.
To understand whether this is just a moment or something more lasting, we spoke to Justin Daughters, director of Berganza, a London-based specialist in antique and vintage jewellery. If anyone has perspective on how jewellery marks identity across centuries, it’s him. Here’s what he had to say.
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Rather than reshaping their engagement rings, many people prefer a clean emotional break by letting it go and choosing something new (Photo: courtesy of Berganza)
Berganza specialises in antique and vintage jewellery—are you seeing clients bring in heirloom wedding pieces for divorce ring transformations? What’s the emotional complexity of reworking jewellery that carries generational history versus modern pieces?At present, Berganza doesn’t offer a redesign service where clients bring in heirloom or wedding pieces to be physically reworked. That said, we do often see clients who choose to exchange their original wedding rings for something entirely different. The emotional complexity is significant: when a piece carries generational history, many people find it too charged to alter. Rather than reshaping it, they prefer a clean emotional break by letting it go and choosing something new. With more modern pieces, the attachment is often more about the relationship than the object, and clients are quicker to separate themselves from it.
From your vantage point dealing with jewellery across centuries, how does today’s divorce ring phenomenon compare to historical precedents? Victorian mourning jewellery, suffragette pieces, widow’s rings—is this truly new, or are we simply rebranding an age-old impulse?From our vantage point, dealing in jewellery across centuries, the impulse itself is not new at all. Victorian mourning jewellery, widow’s rings, and suffragette pieces all used adornment to process loss, transition, and identity. What’s different today is the tone. Historically, post-marital jewellery tended to be coded, restrained, and sombre. Today’s “divorce rings” express the same need for symbolic change, but in a language of visibility and confidence. So in many ways, this is less a new phenomenon than a rebranding of an age-old instinct.
As custodians of antique pieces, how do you navigate clients who want to completely obliterate a beautifully crafted vintage setting versus those who want subtle transformation?As specialists in antique jewellery, we’re always guided by preservation. We encourage clients to think in terms of exchange rather than erasure: letting a beautiful object continue its life elsewhere, and selecting something new that speaks to who they are now. That way, the craftsmanship is respected, and the emotional transition is still honoured.
Emily Ratajkowski’s viral Instagram moment where she posed with a remodelled engagement ring after her marriage fell through (Photo: courtesy of emrata/instagram.com)
The divorce ring trend celebrates bold, unapologetic self-expression. But historically, women’s jewellery after marriage dissolution was meant to be mournful, discreet, even penitent. When did this shift happen in your observation, and what does it reveal about our relationship with jewellery and identity?In my observation, the real shift happened in the late 20th century and accelerated dramatically in the last decade. As women gained greater financial and social independence, jewellery stopped being about propriety and started being about self-definition. The move from discreet, penitent pieces to bold, expressive ones mirrors a wider cultural shift: jewellery is no longer about signalling status within a marriage, but about articulating identity outside of one.
Let’s talk economics—are divorce rings primarily funded by selling off the original wedding jewellery, inheritance money, or are women increasingly self-funding these pieces as an investment in themselves? What does the average budget look like?We’re seeing a clear increase in women self-funding these purchases. Some clients sell their original wedding jewellery to finance something new, but many now see this as an investment in themselves rather than a consolation. Average budgets vary widely, but it’s common for clients to spend anywhere from USD 4,000 to USD 40,000 on a piece that feels meaningful and lasting.
Social media frames divorce rings as spectacle and drama. In reality, people are thoughtful, often quite quiet about their reasons, and focused on choosing something deeply personal rather than performative (Photo: courtesy of Berganza)
You’ve handled some of the world’s most exquisite gemstones. When a client brings in a significant diamond from their marriage—say, a 3-carat solitaire—what design approaches do you recommend that honour the stone’s value whilst completely divorcing it (pun intended) from its original context?While we don’t redesign stones, philosophically, the approach would be about removing all visual and symbolic links to the original setting. A 3-carat solitaire, for example, might move from a traditional prong setting into something asymmetrical, coloured, or historically referential—perhaps paired with enamel, mixed metals, or unconventional geometry—so the stone’s value is honoured, but its story is completely rewritten.
The Emrata effect put the spotlight on divorce rings, but that was a social media spectacle. What are your actual clients asking for when they sit across from you? Is there a disconnect between the Instagram version and the reality?There is definitely a disconnect. Social media frames divorce rings as spectacle and drama. In reality, our clients are thoughtful, often quite quiet about their reasons, and focused on choosing something deeply personal rather than performative. They seek pieces that feel authentic to their private journey, often choosing rare, historically significant rings that offer a sense of permanence and self-discovery rather than shock value.
Berganza has witnessed jewellery trends come and go for decades. Do you believe divorce rings will have the staying power to become a recognised category in fine jewellery—sitting alongside engagement rings, eternity bands and push presents—or is this a cultural moment that will fade?I wouldn’t yet say “divorce rings” will sit alongside engagement rings and eternity bands as a formal category. But the broader idea—jewellery marking independence, rebirth, and self-authorship—is absolutely here to stay. Whether the label survives is less important than the behaviour behind it.
A snake inspired divorce ring (Photo: courtesy of Berganza)
Some might argue that spending thousands on a divorce ring is frivolous or even vindictive. As someone who understands jewellery’s deeper symbolic value, how would you counter that? What’s the psychological and even therapeutic value of this practice?I’d counter that jewellery has always been a tool for marking identity and transition. For many clients, choosing a ring after divorce is an act of agency: it’s a way of reclaiming narrative, control and self-worth. There is immense therapeutic value in choosing an object that represents your own worth, independent of any contract.
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